


A Miqo'te in Limsa

by cute_miqote (MaybeGrimm)



Series: Rhela'a One-shots [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Aetheryte Plaza, Angst, Gen, Limsa Lominsa (Final Fantasy XIV), M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Indulgent, Self-Reflection, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:00:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23385637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaybeGrimm/pseuds/cute_miqote
Summary: Rhela'a has a self-reflection moment while sitting one night in Limsa Lominsa Aetheryte Plaza. Some thoughts about his life, his decisions and, above all, his loneliness.
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s), Original Male Character/Original Male Character, Original Male Character/Original Male Character (Implied)
Series: Rhela'a One-shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1682101





	A Miqo'te in Limsa

Rhela'a felt alone.

It wasn't a very complicated feeling, there wasn't a really complicated reason behind it, but he still couldn't change what he felt.

And he was feeling lonely, abandoned in some wild world ready to eat him and discard the leftovers later, eager to took his insecurities and play with him through them.

Even in the Aetheryte Plaza of Limsa Lominsa, always so full of people coming and going, he felt lonely and empty. But it wasn't exactly emptiness what he felt inside, because everything could have been better if he was just empty, incapable of feeling anything at all.

On the contrary, he felt the lacking above all things. The lacking of his family, the lacking of a friend, the lacking of a lover. And feeling the lack was worst for him than enduring the emptiness, because know all the things he wished with all his heart but didn't have was worse than not feeling anything at all, even guessing how devastating that scenario could be too.

The blond miqo'te grasped the edge of his bench and looked around, trying to get rid of those thoughts. Of course, it wasn’t of help.

It was a warm night. With all the people around the Aetheryte, it felt even warmer. For obvious reasons, it definitely wasn't the type of night anyone would like to be cuddling with someone, but Rhela’a wished he could. And suddenly, all his attempts to keep away his anguish were definitely in vain, and he let himself go.

Maybe if his cousins were with him, everything would be different. They could at least joke around with Navhe'ra about the overly loving people, or yearn with Rhakna for those who were romantic without being corny. But both of them were in the city of Gridania, chasing a presumed group of thieves for whose capture they would be paid very well, while Rhela'a had stayed in Limsa to take some minor jobs. Thanks to the few coins they had left, they couldn't afford to stick together and waste either option.

But, right in that moment, he was totally out of place. Everyone was talking to someone, everyone was sharing something with someone.

Most of the people were kissing. Softly, lovingly, full of lust, fiercely. There was quite a variety for one to choose. The miqo'te tried to not so saw them, but it was inevitable. They were loud, shameless, cute... everyone was wonderful in their own way.

It wasn’t even the fear of being caught watching what made him try to focus on the floor again. It was more about what those couples made him feel, more about the things they made him remember, their enhancing role in his increasing anguish.

He looked up again. If he was already like that, better to at least have a visual reason and not only his own lame thoughts.

Around a corner, there was a couple very noticeable. There was nothing special about them or their appearance, it was more... how they were dressed. Both in impeccable black suits, they just got their Eternal Bonding Ceremony.

Rhela’a sighed. What a great time to be alone in that place. And, for some reason, he didn’t want to go back to his inn room. Since he was feeling like that, why not try to get to the bottom of the matter?

As he watched those two people, the look on their faces as they looked at each other, a new unwelcome thought crossed his mind.

Rhela'a had thought many times that some people were perfect for him, totally suitable together. Of course, that was just idealism. And of course, when he expected the other person to see that in him too, that never happened. As it never happened with anyone else that Rhela'a thought they could last in some kind of relationship. Because no one had ever seen in him all the beautiful things he was always seeing in others.

Would there ever be someone who would? That maybe could see something in him that not even he could anymore? Being rejected, or forgotten, or ignored, had mark the miqo’te to a point of no return. Rhela'a had begun to think, with increasing certainty, that there was no one there waiting for him, and that there never would be.

It was fine. Even with the lonely nights, he would always have his friends.

At least, that was what he wanted to make himself believe. The angst wasn’t that fool though, and the pain in his throat persisted. He looked down again for a moment, so no one could actually saw him wipe away a tear.

They weren't there that night, were they? Wasn't that one of the main reasons why he felt out of place? They weren't going to be together forever, it was obvious. At that time they were just young, and they could afford to travel and joke around and have fun. But at some point, everyone would set their lives apart. And he would be left alone, just as he felt at that moment.

He looked back to the couple. He knew perfectly that that was hurting him even more, making him feel even more miserable, but it didn’t matter.

He was already tearing, what could be worse?

One of the grooms was smiling wide. Rhela’a hated him, even when they didn't know each other at all. His senseless hate was in contrast with everyone around the couple, how were clapping and smiling for their happiness, because they loved both after all.

Rhela’a could see why. They weren’t only perfect together, but also seemed very nice towards the people around them. Kind people could only awake love, after all.

He suddenly remembered sleeping with an Au Ra a few days ago. He was incredibly kind, and that kindness had dragged the lonely and lame Rhela'a quickly to bed. And after that, well... Nothing new. The man just started to ignore him while he got dressed, and all the pretty things that they had whispered in each other’s ears were no longer worth anything. Rhela'a saw him the next night seducing a midlander, with the same gestures with which he had spoken to him the night before.

Maybe not all apparently kind people were actually nice. Rhela'a really needed to learn how to be less naive.

He sighed. That was already draining him too much. There were no more tears to let go, but that didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt.

Rhela’a looked back at the grooms for one last time. He tries to look for some flaw in them, some too loving glance that one of both is directing to someone in the crowd, but there is nothing there to justify his hate.

The miqo’te knows very well that that is bullshit, that he just wants to find a bad thing because he is envious. Deep down, he would like people to care for him as much as they care for the grooms, but that’s useless. When you have nothing to be attracted to, no one will find you attractive.

This hard truth hit him in a way he didn’t expected.

He stood, cleaning his face a little. He couldn’t stand there anymore. The inn was just past the crowd, and he made his way trough the happy people as quickly as he can, looking at the floor.

When he arrived, there wasn’t many people in the common room of the inn. Rhela’a asked for the key and just went the fastest he could to the room. Locked the door. Sit in bed.

He started to cry again, without even noticing that there were still tears there.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, a little self-indulgent oneshot I wanted to upload about my Catboy. I'm still new in the fandom so- sorry for the possible lore mistakes (and the grammar ones, since English isn't my first language). I'd love to know, so please tell me if you find any. Thanks if you read it ♥


End file.
